WHY you never saw it coming....

A frequently asked question is, "Dude,where do u get these stuff?".This ofcourse is not said in appreciation or wonderment but with a major feeling of exasperation. I tend to ignore such wibes,it impairs my genius, or lack of thereof.

In this case, this particualr apocolaypse theory hit me while i was baby sitting my cousin sister. As with all girls below the age of 10 (or for that matter, above that) they tend to have an annoying vibe surrounding them. Really infuriating creatures who take delight in torturing our sorry souls. Anyway, I was in the middle of a footie match on the telly and this mongrel decides to change the channel. A good fifteen minutes of negotiations later, she ended up with a box of chocolates, a good fraction of my weekly pocket money and still in possesion of the TV remote.

So there I was trying to devise this entirely awesome plan on how to get the remote back from her clutches. I was thinking the following :

A) Distraction (shove the pet cat in her hands)
B) While she's going all "Awww....sooo cute".....execute 'PROJECT NINJA', aka 'dive for remote'
C) Shove a donut down her throat to negate any future fits of whining.

or......

D) IF none of that works, i could always hit her over the head and hide the body.

Backup plan          

Just when i think things cant get worse, this infernal racket starts playing on the telly, the source of which, is one of those Barbie cartoons. HELP!

The movie in question

An hour of absolute brain draining TRAUMA later,(By now, I've exhausted all strategies to get the remote because nothing seems to work. She's just too smart, the brat. and for some reason, I'm not allowed to hit her over the head while babysitting. WHO MAKES THESE RULES ANYWAYS??).
So, having nothing else to do and suffering from a minor migraine, my brain decides to take a detour into LOONEYVILLE, the birth place of crazy thought. In doing so, my mind has decided to target the one thing which sent it there in the first place, 'the Barbie'. 
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Thereby, I've come to the following thesis on the "Barbie". The following points must be taken in honest consideration :

Observation 1: All the characters in the barbie world look the same. This goes for both guys and
                           girls. Only things that differ are the wardrobe and the hair.

Observation 2: These cartoons are a retelling of all the famous fairy tales that have shaped our lives.

Observation 3 : It's visually starining, the glitters and colour and the colours leave you with major
                           migraines.

Observation 4 : The missing reports and the last conversation of the missing victim both seem to be
                            pointing towards a certain foot high, blonde with an annoying smile.

Taking these in mind, ive come to suspect that MATTEL is a front for a secret space invasion by a race of evil alien barbies. Using their apparently cute looks and  leadig fashion trends, they've gained entry to our homes lying in dormancy until as and when they see fit to launch their attack against mankind. Another clever move is the afore mentioned reshaping of famous fairy tales as a means of influencing young girls worldwide. Theyve led them to believe that to look like a barbie is all it takes to be the among the finest of the elite (hence the lack of diversifying factors in all their dolls).

                            
                                   *The above are examples of barbie zombified bimbos*

It's all a means to create a feeling dystopia around the world. Another slight but largely advantageous factor in their favor is the glaring visuals in all their animations(which i really do believe is carried out on purpose), This i beieve is a means to hyptonize and brain wash their viewers (the sideeffects of which are ear-splitting migraines and dizziness).

Theyve begun with the disappearance of innocent young boys who love to disfigure the dolls of their young sisters (i think they know what's going on). Also, The missing shuttle mustve intercepted the barbie spaceship enroute, hence the sudden diappearance.

                                               
                                                           *evil barbie overlord*

The accoplaypse is coming folks, Mankind is about to embark on the greatest war our civilisation has ever seen, provided we notice the attack ofcourse.

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                          *For those who wanna know. Looneyville looks something like this*